Photo: Michelle Meiklejohn.

Surfboard? Check. Wax? Check. Waves? Uh. They’re coming.

I’m ready. Any minute now, a perfect swell is going to build, crest into a wave, and come up right under me. I’m going to sit right here and jump to my feet just as the peak sets me up to cruise down the line. It will be amazing. I cannot wait!

What about the waves over there?

Those are too far. That would be a hard paddle. Besides, I am ready in this spot. Right here. When a wave comes, watch me go!

…

You see the problem. This poor chap has everything but the key ingredient. He can plan, prepare, stay positive, know what he wants, envision the outcome, and still struggle mightily at surfing.

A couple weeks ago, I found myself surfing my hometown coast of Atlantic Beach, NC, with friends and smiles all around. I felt so good the world melted away. It was just me and the beauty of creation. Emerald waves and bronzing sun. As I dug hard to paddle into each little wave, I made a mental note to share this principle with you.

The things we want in life rarely come to us. In fact, we rarely know where they will appear. Or how significant or minor they will be. The action, the joy, the thrill and the energy of what we want does not revolve around us. The swell of blessing does not perfectly come up under us. We must see it, paddle hard toward it, and position ourselves to catch it. Just like surfing.

Despite how silly it would be for me to sit in one place in the expanse of the ocean and wait for a wave to position me to ride it, I find myself doing this very thing in life. I do everything imaginable to prepare for God to bless what I am doing or want to do instead of finding out where He is making waves to go catch. I must look as ridiculous as a surfer commanding the waves to come to him while huge, powerful waves whoosh on by.

Of course as in surfing, the other side to this principle is that there is a cadence and progression toward catching a wave that if rushed will not put you in the right place either. Seeing a wave and then reactively paddling at the last minute as it crashes down will usually spell wipe out, just as seeing an opportunity and then jumping in without knowing what you are doing will usually spell disaster.

So to look at God, or life, or others to give us what we want, on our terms, is a tad foolish. It is better to look around, see where the action is, and start paddling toward that. As the momentum builds, we will be able to match its speed, position ourselves on the wave, and join its movement.

Where is God moving in your life? What is He blessing that you are overlooking? Are there waves you can catch that you dismissed before? People you wrote off who need your specific talents and skills? Are you struggling to see what you are missing? I encourage you to choose a wave and start paddling. The ride is worth it.

Photo: procsilas.

We spend the majority of our lives striving after something we want. It changes over time and is typically not an end unto itself but a path to something much more profound. Something that does not exist in this life. At least not in the ideal, perfect form we have in mind when we set out for it.

In a word, this end goal reality we strive for is, spiritual. We look to people to fulfill our desire for love, but they fail. We look to the stuff we buy to bring us joy, but it fails. We gather experiences to feel like we are really living, but nothing lasts. The reason we can say they fail is that they are measured against something perfect. A rule of measurement we have never experienced on earth. The very existence of this desire should whisper that there is something more we are missing in this life.

Some of you believe we are chemical accidents, and the physical world is all that exists. You would say that these desires we have for a perfect embodiment of our ideals, a spiritual realm, or heaven even, is just a result of our biological instinct to survive. That it is simply nature’s way of implanting hope in us to preserve the human race. Yet this belief does not change your pursuit of this hope, of these ideals. You still get up and operate as if heaven exists. In other words, believing the spiritual world is imaginary does not change its impact on you.

When I say spiritual, I mean that which exists outside of physical reality. The world going on in parallel to our own. The forces that influence and inform our own world without any direct scientific proof.

So is the spiritual world imaginary? If so, we sure don’t live like it. Despite these spiritual ideals having no existence in this world, we strive for them as if they do. If spirituality were indeed imaginary, then we should live like it. We should be content with the wife that cheats on us, because hey, we loved for a moment and that’s all we can expect. Or we should be content with the police for throwing us in jail wrongly because hey, we had a good life up to this point and perfect justice doesn’t exist. Our expectations would be incredibly realistic. We would not aspire to the best of anything, because it would not be written on our hearts. These examples would not shock us or upset us because we would laugh at the thought of anything better existing. When we hear stories about the Tooth Fairy, no one gets serious and starts setting up video cameras to capture the big moment when she swoops in at night.

Either we should live counter to what our hearts tell us, or heaven actually does exist. If it does, we have a hope worth living for and worth pursuing. True love. True joy. True peace. True justice. True perfection. Truly a place I want to be one day!

But there are a couple of huge problems. We are not perfect and would not be welcome in a place that is. We would make it imperfect the moment we arrived. While our fictional stories end in living “happily ever after,” we know that’s not how the story really ends as long as we are talking about this life on earth. Furthermore, if there truly exists the perfect expression of love, then it would follow that there exists the perfect expression of hate or at least the complete absence of love. This reality would be spiritual as well but with slightly different rules.

In hell, we would not have to be perfectly evil to be welcome there. Why? Because we would not make hell perfectly good by doing a good deed here and there. In other words, helping a neighbor ease their pain in hell doesn’t automatically create a perfectly loving person. To check our logic, try the converse statement, which should also be wrong: We would not make heaven perfectly evil by doing an evil deed here and there. Yes we would! So earth then, seems to exist as a spiritual battle ground between these two ideals. And throughout history, we have lived out these truths in our lives. We know we are not perfect, and we desire to exist in a place that is.

Those who grapple with the implications here, grapple with the fact that they desperately need to transform into someone perfect, or rid themselves of their imperfect nature and past while in this short life on earth. We know this life in the physical gives us today. We do not know what lies beyond that. Striving to live a good life fails once you make your first wrong move. It would be like pouring pure water into a glass tainted by a deadly virus. No matter how much more pure water you pour into the glass, it’s still tainted. A cure must be found to eliminate the virus. There are many spiritual cures out there promising this transformation with eventual delivery into heaven. They deserve serious consideration. And this should keep a lot of us up at night until we find the answer.

Photo: doug88888.

You probably feel tired. Tired of being yourself. You want to escape and be anything but under the particular burdens that weigh on you daily. Planted where you are, your environment is anything but favorable to be who you really want to be.

Each day you have a choice. You can choose to bloom or wither away in obscurity.

Many of us are so self-defeating, we do not even realize the negative self-talk we tell ourselves. Ever so quietly and constantly, we whisper to ourselves the lie that no one cares about us. No one cares what we have to say. To write. To share. To create. To give. Blooming is for them. Not us. We are nothing special.

And it’s one of the most damaging lies we can tell ourselves. We all have our time to bloom. And it’s never too late. I will finish with a story about a little red flower that illustrates this well.

I pulled into a gas station not too long ago on a road trip. I was tired. It was a blinding sunny day. The kind of day that forces you to look down to avoid the glare of windshields hurting your eyes. The highway nearby was racing with people going about their business, and I could feel the air billowing off the street after each speeding pass. As I stood there pumping gas, I noticed something simple yet profoundly moving.

Right next to the highway, in a small patch of weeds wedged in between the highway railing and concrete stood a bright red flower. How it got there, I will never know, but it was so encouraging to see that I had to tell my friends and now share it with you in writing. Its simple presence told me a few things about life and what it means to bloom where you are planted.

1. It does not matter where you find yourself.
2. It does not matter if everyone around you doesn’t care.
3. You might risk no one appreciating you.
4. You could be surrounded by weeds that are trying to choke you out.
5. In the big scheme of things, you will be insignificant.
6. There is a large chance no one will remember your magnificence.
7. You will feel the heat of those blowing by you at 90 m.p.h.
8. You will need courage.

This beautiful, courageous flower did not care about anyone or anything. It just did all that it could do — bloom. It could not move to a place where people could appreciate it, celebrate it, or recognize its beauty. It was drama free. It did not complain. It did not blame. It knew its purpose. Surrounded by weeds and car exhaust, it had every reason to give up and just die. But it did not. It reached to the sky with all its strength, screaming “I am here! I am here!” Despite its place in a world infinitely larger than itself, it gracefully took its place with honor. And it inspired me immensely. I hope you are inspired as well.

Photo: Logan Abassi / The United Nations.

As the recent devastation in Haiti flashes across our screens in vivid high-definition, I hear many whispering under their breath, “Where is God? If He is so loving, how could He let this happen? Why do so many have to suffer? God, the children! Jesus, where is Your compassion?” Others are so numb and desensitized to the constant march of blood and violence in the media, they rationalize it away or pretend they have all the answers to somehow make themselves feel better.

The truth is, when disaster strikes, the answers are irrelevant. The solution is love. And love, or charity as some prefer, takes action. Charity doesn’t search for answers or try to rationalize suffering. It rushes to the rescue.

The day after the earthquake, Bill O’Reilly had no trouble sizing up the situation on his January 13th Talking Points spot entitled “Haiti, liberalism and America.” Former Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush co-wrote an Op-Ed in the New York Times. Musicians from every genre and style banded together seemingly overnight to record and play benefit concerts. Pat Robertson stirred up a firestorm with his comments, and the responses were even stronger. I found the responses from Don Miller and the Star Tribune in Minneapolis particularly worth a read. Photographers on the ground in Haiti captured every moment. Countries all over the world weighed in and sent their support. The earthquake became something more.

It became an opportunity to love. To be the hands and feet of Jesus when He healed the sick.

Charity cannot exist in a vacuum. It does not exist outside of people overflowing into the lives of other people. God doesn’t promise us safety from earthly disasters, but He does expect His body of believers to be God to those around them. To comfort the sick, feed the hungry, and shelter the needy. Where is God in Haiti? He is serving through compassionate hearts in every capacity every minute. He is the helping hand bandaging the bruised. He is charity in Haiti.

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,”
— Matthew 25:35 (NIV)

Photo: Reinante El Pintor de Fuego.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:”
—Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)

Almost. Did you see that spark? There! It’s catching. Guard it from the wind! Now blow on it! What? It needs oxygen! Dang it. You blew it out. Let me try.

If you have ever started a fire or tried to start one, this exchange sounds amusingly familiar. I smile remembering us little scouts hovering around a campfire, taking turns striking and blowing at the embers until it grew into a victorious furnace of heat. Back then we did not realize the principle we were learning.

As the fires of life sparked, raged or fizzled, the magical interplay between oxygen and fire started to take on new meaning. If you apply oxygen at the right time in the right amount, you will have a wonderful growing fire. And if you apply too much oxygen too early or not enough, you won’t. Building fires reminds me to ask the question elsewhere in life, is my timing and intensity off? Sometimes we strive and toil at something so hard, we miss this key question and principle.

Sometimes all it takes is adjusting your timing and intensity to turn a negative into a positive.

See if you can apply this principle in your life. The next time your life serves up a situation that is not quite working out in a positive way, don’t give up before identifying the oxygen and fire, then applying the principle. Is this the best time? Is this the right amount? I hope this serves you well.

Photo: Cia de Foto.

“doveriai, no proveriai” {Trust, but verify.}
—Russian proverb

We trust entirely too easily. And it’s damaging our health. Let alone our bank accounts, our children, and our lives. We are so oblivious to the depth of our trust in things undeserving that the mere thought of questioning them sends us immediately into denial. To admit our naivety or irresponsibility is unthinkable. We rest in the wisdom of the herd; let the consequences be damned. We prefer to slide through life and not rock the boat rather than have to deal with the truth. I hope if you are reading this, you’re a rocker not a roller.

Outside of our family and circle of friends, we trust complete strangers all the way up to companies, organizations, and entire industries. Our American currency even states, “In God We Trust,” which makes the most sense to me since God is perfect and not flawed by greed, fear, lobbying, ignorance, or convenience. If you are going to put your trust somewhere, God is your best bet. People, let alone groups of people, are who you have to watch.

Not everyone or everything is trustworthy. In the United States, one is innocent until proven guilty. This idea usually lends itself to one being trustworthy until proven untrustworthy. There’s just one problem with that. People at their core are sinful. They are not perfect. They make bad choices. They are not inherently trustworthy. Companies are only as honest as their top executive. People need managers for a reason. So in reality, trust those who have proven trustworthy, but verify the important things.

I want to mention a few dangerous things we have grown to believe and the people behind them we trust. They could be doctors, our family members, or the media. My hope is that when it comes to something important in your life, like what you put in or on your body, you will be careful who you trust.

Sugar Is Not That Bad

If you are serious about your health or want to take out a contender for what is ailing you, start here. We grew up with sugar being in everything, and we trust that we can continue consuming it and all its chemical cousins without much negative impact on our health. Wrong. We are suckers. And you know what they put in suckers. I don’t care if you are Suzanne Somers or Whole Foods. Organic or natural labels do not make it any more trustworthy. And yes, organic fruit still has sugar, and too much can hurt you. Need proof with the medical research to back it up? Good, that’s encouraging. Here are 76 reasons to eliminate it from your diet according to the book, Lick the Sugar Habit Sugar Counter: Discover the Hidden Sugar in Your Food by Nancy Appleton.

Avoid All Fat

True fat does not make you fat. It’s one of the most healthy foods you can eat. Your brain depends on it. I’m talking old fashioned butter, bacon, and eggs folks. The way grandma used to make them. There’s a reason she lived to a hundred eating this supposedly artery-clogging fat. Cholesterol is your friend. We have been told our entire lives to avoid fat — to our detriment. “But it’s common sense,” you say, “Everyone knows you avoid sugar and fat if you want to be healthy.” So our answer is drinking sugar substitutes and avoiding an essential food? It’s a recipe for disaster. You will want to read the entire article on fat found at The Weston A. Price Foundation’s website for the history of how we bought the lie, how to eat fat, and the various benefits of the different fats. Of course, it also tells you which fats and oils man has totally messed up that you should immediately avoid. As in, raid your refrigerator today.

You should also read two perspectives on cholesterol from Dr. Uffe Ravnskov and Dr. Ron Rosedale, as interviewed by one of my favorite doctors, Dr. Mercola, who sits on the board of The Weston A. Price Foundation and seeks out the brightest doctors in their fields of research concerning each area of health.

Medical Studies Are Trustworthy

Finally, I want to make one more point on verification. Before you trust the next media story about some medical study that proves that organic cane sugar is healthier than high-fructose corn syrup or saturated fat causes heart disease, check the study’s sponsor. If it is Willy Wonka or some pharmaceutical company sponsoring a study through a university, don’t you think they are biased? Do you really feel confident placing your trust in a study that could have easily been created to find what the company wanted to find and nothing else? I have read plenty of abstracts on these studies that do not quite sum up the research. At all. One New England Journal of Medicine study found that 24 percent of the studies they researched allowed their sponsor to insert its own statistical analyses!

If you want to do some of your own sleuthing, I wonder who was behind this recent BBC News story on the benefits of coffee? Oh wait, they failed to link to the actual studies mentioned. I wonder why.

Trust at your own risk. Verify what you believe. If the boat needs rocking, don’t be afraid to ask hard questions. You are the only one in charge of your health.

Photo: nattu.

It’s not often you get to rock out to Sweet Home Alabama (while substituting in Carolina, ahem) with 150 buddies on the edge of a lake in the middle of nowhere to learn about how to be a real man. Sure, there were guitars, guns, golf clubs, and great men, but we were there to hear James Ryle, one of the founding members of Promise Keepers and the kind of guy whose presence has spark to it. In other words, the Force is strong with this guy. If you were to meet him, you would know what I mean, and if you know anything about his message, you are most likely living your greatest adventure already.

I want to share some of the things he taught us, and keep in mind, he is addressing men only. While much of it can apply to women, his heart is for encouraging men to be uniquely men, an increasingly diluted definition in America today.

He kicked his first session off with two thoughts, the first a question: What are you chained to? Our culture is so full of relativity, it’s a telling question of what a man is about. Our values shift to fit our feelings at the moment. Our addictions, habits, and desires enslave us. Our moral compass spins in circles following the wind. The second I’ll quote from him:

There is nothing more magnificent in this world than a man who is forgiven, free, and filled with the Spirit of God.
—James Ryle

The Holy Spirit, he said, is like a river that is always flowing. As a new believer, you may step in ankle deep. As you get more mature in your faith, you may wade in waist deep. And as you give yourself fully to His power, you are swept up and riding in glorious power!

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.
—Ephesians 1:18-19a (NIV)

When he shared this verse, he pointed out the Trinity represented to us. God the Father calling us. Our sharing in the eternal inheritance of Jesus, and the great power we have on earth in the Holy Spirit. He then covered the reasons we do not step into this great power, this river. Why do we not let the Spirit fill us up and overflow in our lives?

1. We are unwanted in the world.
2. We are undisciplined in our thoughts.
3. We are unqualified in our abilities.
4. We are unequal in our task.
5. We are unworthy in ourselves.

His illustrations were relevant. I won’t go into all of them here, but one cutting illustration started with him asking which man in attendance could throw a football the farthest. One young confident athlete was left standing, so James proceeded to pull a football out of his bag and ask the athlete to show us.

James grinned as he asked again, “How far can you throw a football?” We all started laughing. “Without air!”

The athlete started shaking his head. “Oh, hold on,” James said. “Let me pull it out a little.” He made it look like it was full of air by pulling the sides out as much as he could. Then he got serious.

“This is religion,” he said. “It has the appearance of filling you, but it is empty. Religion cannot equip you.”

“The Spirit gives you shape, purpose, and fulfillment.” He was getting to the take away.

He told us the Bible says to walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. He emphasized the order. Walk first, then you will not fulfill your lusts. We try to do the reverse. We try not to sin so that we can walk in the Spirit.

“That’s what posers do!” He said. “They act like everything is OK while they try to walk in the Spirit.”

It felt good to be challenged as men by a man who clearly and humbly walked the talk. James Ryle was living his greatest adventure, fueled by a power that few will ever experience. His message was one of Hope, and one rarely spoken about in Christian circles. Just like the deflated football, we can easily live shriveled lives in the corner of life. But God calls us out to a much greater story. He calls us to share in the inheritance of eternal life with Christ. To ride in the power of the Spirit.

MIT Personas Art.

How others see us determines much of how they treat us, interact with us, and engage us. And while we can’t always control what they see, we certainly should be aware of it and make sure it is in line with who we are or what we hope to be. Or for posers, what we are not but want people to think. Sight is usually the first sense that starts collecting information about someone, however right or wrong it may be. I have often wondered what images pop into my friends’ heads when they think of me. I am constantly surprised when I ask them what they see because it usually maximizes one small part of me and minimizes others.

The Personas art project by Aaron Zinman, currently on display at the MIT Museum, shows how the Internet sees us in an artistic although mischaracterized way. The image above represents how the Internet sees the name jeff dolan. Of course, it is aggregating all the Jeff Dolan’s in the world, including my new online friend of the same name in Ireland who is strangely similar in artistic bent. The yellow bar is sports. We must have some ballers in the family. Other large areas include management, social, legal, and online, none of which are words I particularly would want to represent me.

I definitely need to work on increasing the art, design, music, and media categories, which are barely represented at all. Maybe even religion if it meant that somehow when Christianity becomes a hate crime in America, I get thrown in jail or worse for loving Jesus Christ. If you just laughed, it’s already happening in other countries. But that’s another topic altogether.

People seeing us as something or remembering us for certain qualities or characteristics is one thing — they forget, forgive or can change their mind. The Internet is another thing. The Internet remembers everything and is hungry for information. It’s an unslakeable beast that never stops collecting, aggregating, linking, tagging, compiling, and archiving. This blog post will forever live in history no matter how many people read it. And I’ve thought long and hard about the balance of sharing anything online versus helping people think deeper about their dreams, lives, and purpose. I believe you reading this has a purpose that far outweighs how these words affect how I am seen online or off.

In what ways do you live your life that you believe are worth living out loud for people to see, experience, and remember about you? Is what you think they are seeing accurate with what they truly see? As this piece of art shows above from the Personas exhibit, I have some work to do. But don’t we all.

Photo: chantrybee.

If you claim the Jesus of Christianity, don’t miss today. Easter. It’s our foundation of faith. Our starting point. Without the reality of what Jesus has accomplished on the cross, we are absolute fools. If He is just a nice guy, we are the most ridiculous movement in the history of the world. But if He is eternal love, the reality of every ideal we have but cannot find on this earth, God incarnate without sin, today is peace beyond understanding. Joy unmatched. Because He reigns! That’s faith. And that is why it is so important not to miss today. It is not just another holy day.

So where do we go from here? As Christians, it is not our job to predict the future. Nor worry about it. But to go where and when God calls, to love God with 100% of who we are, to love people as we love ourselves, and to enjoy Him forever, which is when He is most pleased.

After these things, our lives are a blank canvas, an adventure ready to begin, a story about to be written. Be creative. Take these foundational, purposeful principles from the Creator’s own words and go. Start today. Life is short and eternity is waiting. Love now. Think forever.

You might get hurt. You might get thrown in jail. You might make poor decisions. You might be average. You might lose it all. Do it anyway. At the end of the day, you have God and His strength, His love, and His plan for you. Good and bad, it’s all for your benefit. Wipe your canvas clean and start creating again. Even if you are empty and powerless, start letting His love flow through you to others. Give and go. Alone we can do nothing. With God all things are possible. Go!

Video: Publicis Mojo and Patrick Hughes.

Have you ever met someone that makes life worth living? And just by knowing this person exists you cannot help but smile? You could be rotting away in corporate America, stuck in a depressing cycle of monotony, and grasping at anything and everything that can save you or distract you from reality. And then it happens. Love finds you. Some see it and act. Others are not ready for the transformation. Too much sacrifice and risk.

It’s the stuff of legend. Of epic battles. Of creative genius. Of revolution. Of grace. Of God.

Love.

It changes your life. Your attitude. Your dreams. Your choices. Your safety. Your reality. Your creativity. Everything.

You cannot create it for it is not of this world. You can only pour it into others.

I marry her in 10 days!