Photo: Jeremy Avnet.

You want to create something amazing. Have an impact. Make a difference. One beautiful day at a time. You want to bring the right people into your life, but they seem to leave as fast as they arrive. You try so hard and seem to make little perceivable progress. You beat yourself up. In public. On your blog. Repeatedly.

You are one hot mess.

Why? Your head is full of strong, healthy weeds. And you haven’t done any heavy weeding in a long time. The flowers are sparse and anemic, you have little good soil to work with, and the weeds are so familiar that you forgot they are unwelcome. Some even look like trees. They crowd out good ideas, good opportunities, and good people that want to take root in your life. Instead of people coming into your life and growing in a pruned garden, they are faced with man-eating Venus Flytraps and thick tangling weeds. The soil is so toxic, they cannot grow and quickly leave.

My hope is to paint a picture of some of the nasty weeds that can grow in one’s life in order to jump start the weeding process. If you identify with any, and God knows I am speaking from experience, I want to encourage you and remind myself to be diligent in keeping our mental gardens hospitable to all who visit. To guard our gates wisely.

In doing so, we will not only have the freedom to create a beautiful life, inspiring art, and meaningful relationships, we will reduce the pain, stress, and sin in the world that is perpetuated by those without restraint or self-discipline.

Ridiculous Expectations

This weed tends to grow taller and taller over time. Nothing is ever good enough. Not even the latest cell phone that beams images across the globe in high-resolution color. Not even the multimillion dollar film that hundreds of talented people spent the greater part of a year producing so you could be entertained for two hours. Not even your significant other who despite putting up with your flaws never seems to be helpful enough, pretty enough, fast enough, clean enough, or tough enough.

We let our expectations grow unchecked for so long that things that should blow us away with gratitude only upset and frustrate us. “How dare these things not live up to my standard of excellence,” we say to our puffed up selves. Many times this weed can grow into the more insidious anger or pride.

Thankfully, this weed can be pulled by being mindful of it. Offended hearts can be replaced by thankful ones. Count your blessings, understand the world is not created to serve you, and see people and things for what they are — broken and man-made.

Grudges

This weed grows deeper roots by the minute. It starts with resentment toward someone for something they did or didn’t do to you or your posse. It likes to grow next to ridiculous expectations and low-self esteem. It wishes ill will on others and can grow into hatred. Many times, you purposely do not verify the source of your information — which is usually not the person you are holding the grudge against — because this weed thrives on ignorance and lies. It can also do a number on your health.

There’s only one solution for killing this weed. Go straight to the person you want to hold the grudge against and ask for forgiveness. In person or over the phone. Yes, even if you are justified in your mind. The quicker you can do this the better. And do not take the easy way out and use email or text. But be warned. The battle that will rage in your heart and mind will be epic. Spiritual even. You will need massive shears to cut this out of your life.

Don’t worry, your gardening skills will be enormously stronger the next time a grudge starts growing. Regular grudge checks are recommended.

Untamed Ego

There’s nothing quite as suffocating as talking to someone, or rather listening to him blab, about how wonderful he is et cetera et cetera. Remember, people do not care about you until they know you care and actually ask you to share. Otherwise, silence is your friend.

I genuinely think our culture today has groomed us to stroke our own egos because every message is geared around me me me. It’s natural that this weed could grow into our mind as an extension of the conversation brands have with us. Since companies talk about how great their products will make you, you naturally want to share how acquiring these items have made you so much cooler than everyone else. You start to believe through customized advertising that the world was indeed created just for you.

And a special note to bosses. Your employees cannot walk out like everyone else. They must suffer through your embarrassing monologues. Anyone else would be taking the nearest exit.

The best way to get rid of this weed is to go into every conversation with the thought that you will let the other person talk first. Asking three or more questions about the other person helps you keep the focus off you long enough to kill any hopes you may have of dominating the conversation with your latest product, project, success, gift, experience, vacation, car, widget, book, film, CD, oh-my-dear-please-shut-up production.

Desperation

The stench of this weed can be sensed immediately. You want a relationship, or a job, or a project, or a shot. You are trying way too hard. You are in all out panic mode. You may even have all the skills and talent required but you are blinded by this opportunity as if nothing else will ever come along. The brown-nosing abounds while you are pitied by those around you. And you still end up with nothing.

The herbicide for this weed is the idea of abundance. You have to accept the fact that we live in a huge world that is better connected now than ever before in history. There are more opportunities, jobs, guys, girls, clients, gigs, or partners than you can realistically engage in your lifetime. You must relax, detach yourself from the outcomes of any particular one, and be confident others will come.

Excuses

This weed pops up everywhere something hard presents itself in your mind. Especially when you try to step out and do something creative. Steven Pressfield calls it Resistance. You attempt to create something great, only to watch this weed grow right in its place and cry for food. If you feed it with logic or justifications you will find yourself creating nothing. All of a sudden, you have plenty of gorgeous excuses and nothing of real substance.

Your mind will play tricks on you with this weed if you don’t kill it with action. So the formula to beat this one is simple yet powerful. Act.

Skeletons

Past baggage. Past hurt. Past junk. The keyword is past. These weeds should have been plucked years ago but grow as fresh as the day they were planted each time you mention them. They somehow find their way into every conversation you have. You give life to them every time you focus your thoughts on them. You empower them to grow into your present and choke you.

The antidote to kill these weeds will take you on a difficult journey. Maybe even counseling. They have thick trunks and resemble trees instead of weeds. They may have old axe markings at the bottom of them where you did some work in the past but never quite killed them.

Ignoring the fact that you need to deal with them directly, face them, and stop feeding them only prolongs the pain and poisons the soil in your life further. If you decide to do the heavy weeding in this area of your mental garden, the sunlight that will pour into your garden will give you the momentum you need to accurately see and deal with many other weeds and take you to a place of health, abundance, and clarity.

…

We’re all broken, hurt, and struggling with mental weeds in some area of our minds. But it does not have to remain that way. Feel free to add any others that I have missed and how you beat them.

Photo: Michelle Meiklejohn.

Surfboard? Check. Wax? Check. Waves? Uh. They’re coming.

I’m ready. Any minute now, a perfect swell is going to build, crest into a wave, and come up right under me. I’m going to sit right here and jump to my feet just as the peak sets me up to cruise down the line. It will be amazing. I cannot wait!

What about the waves over there?

Those are too far. That would be a hard paddle. Besides, I am ready in this spot. Right here. When a wave comes, watch me go!

…

You see the problem. This poor chap has everything but the key ingredient. He can plan, prepare, stay positive, know what he wants, envision the outcome, and still struggle mightily at surfing.

A couple weeks ago, I found myself surfing my hometown coast of Atlantic Beach, NC, with friends and smiles all around. I felt so good the world melted away. It was just me and the beauty of creation. Emerald waves and bronzing sun. As I dug hard to paddle into each little wave, I made a mental note to share this principle with you.

The things we want in life rarely come to us. In fact, we rarely know where they will appear. Or how significant or minor they will be. The action, the joy, the thrill and the energy of what we want does not revolve around us. The swell of blessing does not perfectly come up under us. We must see it, paddle hard toward it, and position ourselves to catch it. Just like surfing.

Despite how silly it would be for me to sit in one place in the expanse of the ocean and wait for a wave to position me to ride it, I find myself doing this very thing in life. I do everything imaginable to prepare for God to bless what I am doing or want to do instead of finding out where He is making waves to go catch. I must look as ridiculous as a surfer commanding the waves to come to him while huge, powerful waves whoosh on by.

Of course as in surfing, the other side to this principle is that there is a cadence and progression toward catching a wave that if rushed will not put you in the right place either. Seeing a wave and then reactively paddling at the last minute as it crashes down will usually spell wipe out, just as seeing an opportunity and then jumping in without knowing what you are doing will usually spell disaster.

So to look at God, or life, or others to give us what we want, on our terms, is a tad foolish. It is better to look around, see where the action is, and start paddling toward that. As the momentum builds, we will be able to match its speed, position ourselves on the wave, and join its movement.

Where is God moving in your life? What is He blessing that you are overlooking? Are there waves you can catch that you dismissed before? People you wrote off who need your specific talents and skills? Are you struggling to see what you are missing? I encourage you to choose a wave and start paddling. The ride is worth it.

Photo: procsilas.

We spend the majority of our lives striving after something we want. It changes over time and is typically not an end unto itself but a path to something much more profound. Something that does not exist in this life. At least not in the ideal, perfect form we have in mind when we set out for it.

In a word, this end goal reality we strive for is, spiritual. We look to people to fulfill our desire for love, but they fail. We look to the stuff we buy to bring us joy, but it fails. We gather experiences to feel like we are really living, but nothing lasts. The reason we can say they fail is that they are measured against something perfect. A rule of measurement we have never experienced on earth. The very existence of this desire should whisper that there is something more we are missing in this life.

Some of you believe we are chemical accidents, and the physical world is all that exists. You would say that these desires we have for a perfect embodiment of our ideals, a spiritual realm, or heaven even, is just a result of our biological instinct to survive. That it is simply nature’s way of implanting hope in us to preserve the human race. Yet this belief does not change your pursuit of this hope, of these ideals. You still get up and operate as if heaven exists. In other words, believing the spiritual world is imaginary does not change its impact on you.

When I say spiritual, I mean that which exists outside of physical reality. The world going on in parallel to our own. The forces that influence and inform our own world without any direct scientific proof.

So is the spiritual world imaginary? If so, we sure don’t live like it. Despite these spiritual ideals having no existence in this world, we strive for them as if they do. If spirituality were indeed imaginary, then we should live like it. We should be content with the wife that cheats on us, because hey, we loved for a moment and that’s all we can expect. Or we should be content with the police for throwing us in jail wrongly because hey, we had a good life up to this point and perfect justice doesn’t exist. Our expectations would be incredibly realistic. We would not aspire to the best of anything, because it would not be written on our hearts. These examples would not shock us or upset us because we would laugh at the thought of anything better existing. When we hear stories about the Tooth Fairy, no one gets serious and starts setting up video cameras to capture the big moment when she swoops in at night.

Either we should live counter to what our hearts tell us, or heaven actually does exist. If it does, we have a hope worth living for and worth pursuing. True love. True joy. True peace. True justice. True perfection. Truly a place I want to be one day!

But there are a couple of huge problems. We are not perfect and would not be welcome in a place that is. We would make it imperfect the moment we arrived. While our fictional stories end in living “happily ever after,” we know that’s not how the story really ends as long as we are talking about this life on earth. Furthermore, if there truly exists the perfect expression of love, then it would follow that there exists the perfect expression of hate or at least the complete absence of love. This reality would be spiritual as well but with slightly different rules.

In hell, we would not have to be perfectly evil to be welcome there. Why? Because we would not make hell perfectly good by doing a good deed here and there. In other words, helping a neighbor ease their pain in hell doesn’t automatically create a perfectly loving person. To check our logic, try the converse statement, which should also be wrong: We would not make heaven perfectly evil by doing an evil deed here and there. Yes we would! So earth then, seems to exist as a spiritual battle ground between these two ideals. And throughout history, we have lived out these truths in our lives. We know we are not perfect, and we desire to exist in a place that is.

Those who grapple with the implications here, grapple with the fact that they desperately need to transform into someone perfect, or rid themselves of their imperfect nature and past while in this short life on earth. We know this life in the physical gives us today. We do not know what lies beyond that. Striving to live a good life fails once you make your first wrong move. It would be like pouring pure water into a glass tainted by a deadly virus. No matter how much more pure water you pour into the glass, it’s still tainted. A cure must be found to eliminate the virus. There are many spiritual cures out there promising this transformation with eventual delivery into heaven. They deserve serious consideration. And this should keep a lot of us up at night until we find the answer.

Photo: doug88888.

You probably feel tired. Tired of being yourself. You want to escape and be anything but under the particular burdens that weigh on you daily. Planted where you are, your environment is anything but favorable to be who you really want to be.

Each day you have a choice. You can choose to bloom or wither away in obscurity.

Many of us are so self-defeating, we do not even realize the negative self-talk we tell ourselves. Ever so quietly and constantly, we whisper to ourselves the lie that no one cares about us. No one cares what we have to say. To write. To share. To create. To give. Blooming is for them. Not us. We are nothing special.

And it’s one of the most damaging lies we can tell ourselves. We all have our time to bloom. And it’s never too late. I will finish with a story about a little red flower that illustrates this well.

I pulled into a gas station not too long ago on a road trip. I was tired. It was a blinding sunny day. The kind of day that forces you to look down to avoid the glare of windshields hurting your eyes. The highway nearby was racing with people going about their business, and I could feel the air billowing off the street after each speeding pass. As I stood there pumping gas, I noticed something simple yet profoundly moving.

Right next to the highway, in a small patch of weeds wedged in between the highway railing and concrete stood a bright red flower. How it got there, I will never know, but it was so encouraging to see that I had to tell my friends and now share it with you in writing. Its simple presence told me a few things about life and what it means to bloom where you are planted.

1. It does not matter where you find yourself.
2. It does not matter if everyone around you doesn’t care.
3. You might risk no one appreciating you.
4. You could be surrounded by weeds that are trying to choke you out.
5. In the big scheme of things, you will be insignificant.
6. There is a large chance no one will remember your magnificence.
7. You will feel the heat of those blowing by you at 90 m.p.h.
8. You will need courage.

This beautiful, courageous flower did not care about anyone or anything. It just did all that it could do — bloom. It could not move to a place where people could appreciate it, celebrate it, or recognize its beauty. It was drama free. It did not complain. It did not blame. It knew its purpose. Surrounded by weeds and car exhaust, it had every reason to give up and just die. But it did not. It reached to the sky with all its strength, screaming “I am here! I am here!” Despite its place in a world infinitely larger than itself, it gracefully took its place with honor. And it inspired me immensely. I hope you are inspired as well.

Video: Zack Arias.

One year ago this month, photographer Zack Arias posted a video called Transform that made an impression on me. He poured his heart out in a very open and vulnerable way that spoke to the things I believe many of us struggle with as photographers, designers, artists, and creatives of all stripes. Although a photographer, he used video to tell his story in a powerful way. I believe this method of communicating will continue to explode online as a new generation of kids grow up on YouTube and television.

The specialists like Zack are starting to realize that the new social media (now just the media) world we now live in will demand even more skills out of niche players than ever before. Photographers must now be web designers, social media experts, producers, directors, workshop hosts, and many other things to stay in business and compete. The pace can turn any creative into a heap of overwhelm. What Zack says in his video is key to overcome this shift we are now experiencing in every industry from music to photography to film to publishing.

Going a Hundred Miles Per Hour

Ever feel like you are headed for a crash? That you cannot sustain the speed you are traveling? In last night’s opening ceremonies coverage of the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver, I watched in sadness as Nodar Kumaritashvili, the 21-year-old luger from the former Soviet republic of Georgia, flew off the track at 88 m.p.h. into a steel beam at the Whistler Sliding Center. His death rang out as a warning to us all. We cannot sustain this increasing amount of speed in our lives. Where does it end? Pushing the limits is heroic, but at what expense? What purpose? The gold medal winners of the luge will be those who cheat death by flirting with the limit of being out of control. And our culture will reward them as heroes.

Suffering From The Sickness

Comparison. You see someone doing a great thing and you compare his work to yours. Her life to yours. His skill to yours. You mark the difference. You can’t help it. You are infected and suffering from our sinful human nature to compare and despair. We forget that we each have a story to live and a special contribution to give. No one can live it for us. The world will never be blessed with your presence again. No matter what level we think we need to attain or successful accomplishment we need to achieve, comparison is a step backward.

Finding Your Voice

It will take time to stop comparing, to get to know ourselves and what God put uniquely in us to live out. That’s OK. When you find it, your confidence will grow. You will be less likely to compare. Because you will be speaking out of your own heart, not trying to copy someone who is also fallible.

Artist vs Entrepreneur

Some of us will make money with our art. Some of us will be long gone when the money follows our work. Others will never see a penny. Many artists choose one path or the other. They are either an artist or a business person. “I hate money” or “I will hire the business side out” are common phrases heard among artists. The reality is, to be a responsible artist, you must put money in the right perspective. It can enable you to create. You control it. It does not control you. Don’t be afraid to learn how to control it to work for you. A carpenter is not afraid of a hammer or saw even though they can crush or cut. A carpenter learns how to use these tools in his craft. Money is simply a tool. Artists must learn about money and business as if they were brushes in their bag.

Being Patient

Slowing down takes time. Resisting comparison takes time. Finding your voice takes time. Learning your craft takes time. The way of an artist is paved with patience. Going a hundred miles per hour down an unpaved road doesn’t exactly make your life a pleasing experience. The struggle doesn’t have to be so hard but many artists make it hard because they have to do their art full time right now. They will go into debt, make bad business deals, copy others who they see as more successful, and miss the entire point of their existence. They will hit speed bumps and run off the road. They might even get on a dead-end road. All because they lacked patience.

Transforming Is Worth It

Life is about your transformation. No great story has a character who doesn’t transform. A main character who ends a movie the same as he began is probably in a bad movie. The same goes for your life. We are not born perfect, which means improvement and change is a constant part of our lives until we die. Change brings struggle. To struggle is the way of the artist and the way of life. To struggle for something worthy of our struggle makes it all worth it.

Personally in my life, I feel like my thinking takes me light years ahead of what my body can actually do. There isn’t enough time in a day to accomplish all the things I want to do. Slowing down in simply my expectations would help me tremendously. Patience stings when it’s at the expense of what you know you could be doing. But as I am learning, in the end, it’s not about accomplishment as much as it’s about who you become. The accomplishment will come in time if what you are transforming into is worthy of your struggle. I hope these ideas resonate with you as much as they did for me.

Photo: Logan Abassi / The United Nations.

As the recent devastation in Haiti flashes across our screens in vivid high-definition, I hear many whispering under their breath, “Where is God? If He is so loving, how could He let this happen? Why do so many have to suffer? God, the children! Jesus, where is Your compassion?” Others are so numb and desensitized to the constant march of blood and violence in the media, they rationalize it away or pretend they have all the answers to somehow make themselves feel better.

The truth is, when disaster strikes, the answers are irrelevant. The solution is love. And love, or charity as some prefer, takes action. Charity doesn’t search for answers or try to rationalize suffering. It rushes to the rescue.

The day after the earthquake, Bill O’Reilly had no trouble sizing up the situation on his January 13th Talking Points spot entitled “Haiti, liberalism and America.” Former Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush co-wrote an Op-Ed in the New York Times. Musicians from every genre and style banded together seemingly overnight to record and play benefit concerts. Pat Robertson stirred up a firestorm with his comments, and the responses were even stronger. I found the responses from Don Miller and the Star Tribune in Minneapolis particularly worth a read. Photographers on the ground in Haiti captured every moment. Countries all over the world weighed in and sent their support. The earthquake became something more.

It became an opportunity to love. To be the hands and feet of Jesus when He healed the sick.

Charity cannot exist in a vacuum. It does not exist outside of people overflowing into the lives of other people. God doesn’t promise us safety from earthly disasters, but He does expect His body of believers to be God to those around them. To comfort the sick, feed the hungry, and shelter the needy. Where is God in Haiti? He is serving through compassionate hearts in every capacity every minute. He is the helping hand bandaging the bruised. He is charity in Haiti.

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,”
— Matthew 25:35 (NIV)

Photo: Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

This week took me on business out of state. I travel light, and when it came to swipe my credit card at the airport terminal, I realized I was a few grams too light. My credit card had taken a vacation the night before and had an away message in its place. “Dear Owner, you’re screwed.”

I took a deep breath and smiled. I felt like James Bond. How would I hop a flight, rent a car, eat, stay in a hotel, do business, and get back home safely without any form of currency? I only carry two things in my wallet — my driver’s license, and my credit card. Both memorized. If you rob me, have fun while you can. The card carries a very low balance, the license is old, and if I find you there will only be one story. My story.

I calmly and immediately kicked into gear. The airport just needed my license and a strip search. The hotel complied with a simple fax. I could order delivery pizza on my cell phone or eat on my hotel tab. The rental car companies were not so compliant. I got two phone rings, some prompts, and a person supposedly at the location where I was to pick up the car. “Ma’am, I reserved a car that I would like to pay for upfront right now with my credit card. Can I do that?”

“Uh, you will need to present card when you get here,” a woman stuttered in broken English.

“So if I can only give you my driver’s license and not my credit card, even though I am telling you to authorize my card now, you are saying I cannot rent the car?”

“Ah, yes. You will need to bring credit card with you. You can also use debit card.”

“OK, may I speak with your manager please?”

“Uh, yes. Just one moment.” She put me on hold for a while and then in a more cheerful voice answered with a different name.

“Hello Wendy,” I said trying not to laugh. Does this lady think I am dense? “I have a really tough situation here, and I need your help.”

“You will need to bring credit card with you,” she said in the same broken English.

“So you don’t want my business?” I said, knowing I was wasting my time.

“Ah, yes. Uh, no. Ah, yes. Sir, I sorry. You will need to bring credit card with you.”

On to Plan B. Number of trips divided by how many available co-workers and friends I know in town. Plan C? Talking a cab driver into typing the credit card number into his machine instead of having a card present. Plan D? Don’t do this again Dolan!

How did it turn out? Nothing close to what flashed through my head when I realized my credit card was not in my wallet. Everything went swell, and although a little awkward in places, the only last hurdle I have to figure out is how to get out of the parking lot without a credit card. But I’m sure there is a creative way to get around that as well.

Another day in the life of Jeff Dolan, painted outside the lines. The next time someone asks me, “What did you do today?” I can smile and tell them the usual, or I can take them on a mini-adventure.

Life is full of mini-adventures. They are the things and events that are out of the ordinary for you. And they mark our lives. We remember the brush strokes that are out of line. We want to share these experiences with others. We are the only creatures on earth with this characteristic.

Art sets humans apart. We purposefully create it in our lives. Whether it be on a canvas, a computer, a stage, or our minds, we paint new works of art into our lives each day. Time becomes our canvas, and each stroke outside the lines brings new color, memories, and experiences into a larger and larger picture we are creating. We can choose to cry over a line gone astray, or we can ebb and flow with it, making it into something positive.

Life is not best lived dramatically or fretfully. It is not best navigated by giving up or giving in when your situation turns against you. It is best lived artfully.

Photo: Reinante El Pintor de Fuego.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:”
—Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)

Almost. Did you see that spark? There! It’s catching. Guard it from the wind! Now blow on it! What? It needs oxygen! Dang it. You blew it out. Let me try.

If you have ever started a fire or tried to start one, this exchange sounds amusingly familiar. I smile remembering us little scouts hovering around a campfire, taking turns striking and blowing at the embers until it grew into a victorious furnace of heat. Back then we did not realize the principle we were learning.

As the fires of life sparked, raged or fizzled, the magical interplay between oxygen and fire started to take on new meaning. If you apply oxygen at the right time in the right amount, you will have a wonderful growing fire. And if you apply too much oxygen too early or not enough, you won’t. Building fires reminds me to ask the question elsewhere in life, is my timing and intensity off? Sometimes we strive and toil at something so hard, we miss this key question and principle.

Sometimes all it takes is adjusting your timing and intensity to turn a negative into a positive.

See if you can apply this principle in your life. The next time your life serves up a situation that is not quite working out in a positive way, don’t give up before identifying the oxygen and fire, then applying the principle. Is this the best time? Is this the right amount? I hope this serves you well.

Photo: Cia de Foto.

“doveriai, no proveriai” {Trust, but verify.}
—Russian proverb

We trust entirely too easily. And it’s damaging our health. Let alone our bank accounts, our children, and our lives. We are so oblivious to the depth of our trust in things undeserving that the mere thought of questioning them sends us immediately into denial. To admit our naivety or irresponsibility is unthinkable. We rest in the wisdom of the herd; let the consequences be damned. We prefer to slide through life and not rock the boat rather than have to deal with the truth. I hope if you are reading this, you’re a rocker not a roller.

Outside of our family and circle of friends, we trust complete strangers all the way up to companies, organizations, and entire industries. Our American currency even states, “In God We Trust,” which makes the most sense to me since God is perfect and not flawed by greed, fear, lobbying, ignorance, or convenience. If you are going to put your trust somewhere, God is your best bet. People, let alone groups of people, are who you have to watch.

Not everyone or everything is trustworthy. In the United States, one is innocent until proven guilty. This idea usually lends itself to one being trustworthy until proven untrustworthy. There’s just one problem with that. People at their core are sinful. They are not perfect. They make bad choices. They are not inherently trustworthy. Companies are only as honest as their top executive. People need managers for a reason. So in reality, trust those who have proven trustworthy, but verify the important things.

I want to mention a few dangerous things we have grown to believe and the people behind them we trust. They could be doctors, our family members, or the media. My hope is that when it comes to something important in your life, like what you put in or on your body, you will be careful who you trust.

Sugar Is Not That Bad

If you are serious about your health or want to take out a contender for what is ailing you, start here. We grew up with sugar being in everything, and we trust that we can continue consuming it and all its chemical cousins without much negative impact on our health. Wrong. We are suckers. And you know what they put in suckers. I don’t care if you are Suzanne Somers or Whole Foods. Organic or natural labels do not make it any more trustworthy. And yes, organic fruit still has sugar, and too much can hurt you. Need proof with the medical research to back it up? Good, that’s encouraging. Here are 76 reasons to eliminate it from your diet according to the book, Lick the Sugar Habit Sugar Counter: Discover the Hidden Sugar in Your Food by Nancy Appleton.

Avoid All Fat

True fat does not make you fat. It’s one of the most healthy foods you can eat. Your brain depends on it. I’m talking old fashioned butter, bacon, and eggs folks. The way grandma used to make them. There’s a reason she lived to a hundred eating this supposedly artery-clogging fat. Cholesterol is your friend. We have been told our entire lives to avoid fat — to our detriment. “But it’s common sense,” you say, “Everyone knows you avoid sugar and fat if you want to be healthy.” So our answer is drinking sugar substitutes and avoiding an essential food? It’s a recipe for disaster. You will want to read the entire article on fat found at The Weston A. Price Foundation’s website for the history of how we bought the lie, how to eat fat, and the various benefits of the different fats. Of course, it also tells you which fats and oils man has totally messed up that you should immediately avoid. As in, raid your refrigerator today.

You should also read two perspectives on cholesterol from Dr. Uffe Ravnskov and Dr. Ron Rosedale, as interviewed by one of my favorite doctors, Dr. Mercola, who sits on the board of The Weston A. Price Foundation and seeks out the brightest doctors in their fields of research concerning each area of health.

Medical Studies Are Trustworthy

Finally, I want to make one more point on verification. Before you trust the next media story about some medical study that proves that organic cane sugar is healthier than high-fructose corn syrup or saturated fat causes heart disease, check the study’s sponsor. If it is Willy Wonka or some pharmaceutical company sponsoring a study through a university, don’t you think they are biased? Do you really feel confident placing your trust in a study that could have easily been created to find what the company wanted to find and nothing else? I have read plenty of abstracts on these studies that do not quite sum up the research. At all. One New England Journal of Medicine study found that 24 percent of the studies they researched allowed their sponsor to insert its own statistical analyses!

If you want to do some of your own sleuthing, I wonder who was behind this recent BBC News story on the benefits of coffee? Oh wait, they failed to link to the actual studies mentioned. I wonder why.

Trust at your own risk. Verify what you believe. If the boat needs rocking, don’t be afraid to ask hard questions. You are the only one in charge of your health.

Photo: Ansel Adams.

As you reflect on the year ahead, you are bound to think about the things that matter to you above everything else. Your priorities. Sure, you may set goals or resolutions. You may even be struggling just to stay afloat. But the things that hold the most value to you will always trump these. No matter what, I hope you include your health as one of your top priorities this year. Your other priorities depend on it.

You may have nodded and said, “Got it. Losing weight is my top priority this year!” That’s great, but that’s not a priority.

When I think priorities, I am thinking about my relationships, my health, my finances, my work, my home. At any given moment, I am deciding what takes priority in my life. Do I catch this really funny show on television or call my friend to go running? I am juggling something that is entertainment, which is cool yet not even on my top five list, and my health, which comes in at number two. And if I choose wisely, I am also building a better relationship and having fun too. I believe they call that a twofer.

What happens when my priorities are out of whack? The television show wins out, and I rationalize why until I feel better. I had a long day and need a break. I’m too tired to run. I’ll run first thing tomorrow to make it up. I’ve been doing really good lately. This show is too good to pass up. Besides, comedy keeps my sanity. And that’s a top priority!

The reality is that by doing this, I just put myself — my health — lower than entertainment on my priority list. How does this play itself out in our world today? How many stimulating messages are thrown at us all day that appeal to our pleasure? Messages that promise that we will feel better permeate our minds constantly and try to win our time and money. News flash. They are short lived. Our health stays with us much much longer. If we continue to put ourselves low on the priority list, sure we’ll be smiling and having fun but we’ll be smiling all the way to the doctor. There is a time and a place for all things, and the wise will make sure first things stay first.

Losing weight is a means to an end, not the end in and of itself. While it can be a great goal, it’s a poor priority because it doesn’t last. What happens when you start damaging your body by losing too much weight? What happens when you are losing weight for the wrong reasons? What happens when you are so obsessed with losing weight that you realize it has taken over every spare thought in your mind? What happens when you lose weight only to realize you are still not healthy?

You are the priority! Your health is the priority. Losing weight naturally happens as a result of this powerful shift in your priorities. You don’t have to check the scale every day. If you are consistently making yourself a priority, you have the right attitude, and you are willing to be a student of your health, you can be confident the weight will take care of itself. You cannot think as clearly, function as well, decide as wisely, or relax as fully as when you are in total health. Your future depends on this priority being at or near the top of your list.

I laugh when I hear the phrase, “Nobody ever says at the end of his life, ‘I wish I worked more.’” Yeah. What they say is, “I wish I worked out more, because being in this bloody hospital bed bites!”

If you could meet yourself 30 years from now, while you probably wouldn’t tell yourself to work more or even work out more, you certainly would urge yourself to take care of your priorities. Love more. Forgive more. Take care of yourself. Give your all.

I didn’t hear lose more weight or watch more television. The larger mindset you must have to lose weight allows you to reach that specific goal much more efficiently and naturally. You are the only one given your body and tasked with taking care of it. Make it a priority! You are extremely worth it.

Be viciously protective of yourself. Schedule time on your calendar for yourself. Book yourself. Say no. No-o-o-o. Own no. Be friends with no. Take no out on a date. Anyone with self respect will not fault you for it. In fact, people will admire your rare commitment to yourself and your health. They may even be jealous. Why? Because average people are slaves to the next short-lived thrill. They are so stimulated and busy doing nothing, doing something truly beneficial and essential is beyond them.

Is there a specific one-size-fits-all weight that we should all strive to attain? No. So where did your magic number you are looking for every day on your scale come from? Does everyone have the same priorities? No. So why are you comparing yourself to your neighbor who constantly chooses poorly? Should you be among your top priorities? Absolutely. So get on it. I think you know the alternative.